Reset Sunday: Stop working and have fun!

This Reset Sunday post is going to be short and sweet. This is the time of year for spring cleaning, organizing, and checking off to-do lists. While these are all worthy pursuits, it is easy to get caught up in all the things we need to do to keep our lives in order and running somewhat smoothly. We tend to glorify working and "being busy." Don't tell me you don't get a little rush of self-importance every time you tell someone you have been "really busy". It's only natural to feel happy to be engaged in your work and your pursuits. But just as important, if not more important is the ability to set yourself free from your to-do's and your chores and even your big dreams for at least one day and just do something that is purely fun without a specific goal or end in mind. What taps you into the spirit of play? I challenge you, especially if this has been missing from your life lately, to clear the slate of an entire day for fun. Play hooky from work. Find a babysitter. Leave the bathroom messy, the laundry dirty. Be irresponsible just for a day. Don't be tricked into believing that you have to be productive all the time. Let go for now, for a day, and do something spontaneous and purely fun instead. Don't over-think it! Just set yourself free!

Reset Sunday: Driving Meditation or How to be a Driving Ninja

So many of us, especially my fellow Angelenos out there, spend too much time in our cars. The result: we often experience impatience, annoyance, hatred, boredom, frustration, sleepiness, and general dysphoria while driving. Aside from changing our lifestyles to drive less which is not always easy or practical, here is a mindful practice that can change the way we experience being stuck in traffic and commuting.  And for those of you, who want to have a meditation practice but don't have think you have the time, here is a place to start.

When we think of mediation, the first thing that come to mind for many people is a monk or yogi sitting crossed legged with eyes closed, clearing their mind of all thoughts. Obviously, this is not what we are going to be attempting while driving. Instead, our eyes will be fully open and alert. We will be sitting in our seat relaxed and responsive. And, most importantly, we will be observing the thoughts, emotions and body sensations that arise without judgement. The intention of this practice is not an empty mind, although that may occur. Rather, it is the Undistracted Awareness of everything you are experiencing in the present moment.

Undistracted Awareness while driving is an obvious upgrade from our usual autopilot, spaced-out, multi-tasking mode of driving. You will be relaxed yet ready to respond to any situation whether it be getting stuck behind a slow truck on a narrow mountain road or getting cut off by a impatient SUV on the freeway. You will become a driving ninja. Here's how:

1. Begin by deepening your breathe. Let the inhale fill your entire body. Let the exhales empty completely. Feel your sitting bones and tail bone sink down into the seat. Feel the inhale rising up through the spine, lengthening the body. The heart space opens. The shoulders relax back and down and the crown the head reaches upward.
   
2. Your body is soft and responsive to the movement of the breath. The breath is waking up every cell. Your whole being is waking up. You feel your hands guiding the steering wheel. You feel the pressure of your foot on the pedal. You feel the vibration of the car and the texture of the road.
   
3. Your eyes are alert, taking in all the other cars around you, the curve of the road, the lights, the buildings or trees surrounding you. Glancing in your mirrors, you establish a clear awareness of everything that is happening around you.
   
4. Now, let your ears perk up. You can hear the motor of your car, the shifting of gears, the wind going by. Maybe you hear a car coming up behind you or passing you. Allow your ears to be awake to all sounds.
   
5. As thoughts and feelings arise, simply observe them without a judgement. There's a thought about dinner. There's a thought about work tomorrow. There's a feeling of frustration at a slow driver. Notice how these thoughts and emotions are echoing through the body. Are the shoulders tensing or the jaw gripping? Does the chest feel constricted? Simply notice these sensations and then, consciously relax the body, bringing the awareness back to all the sensations driving. Take a deep breath. What do you see right now? What do you hear? What can you feel? Pay attention to the moment right now. Wake up and slide into complete awareness.
   
6. Remember that you are not alone right now. Every car contains a human being, an entire life, an entire consciousness. Even if you are on an empty road remember there are animals hidden in the brush, grasses or trees. There may be people walking along the road or crossing the street. This is a perfect opportunity to practice compassion and a deep respect for life. Let this feeling of compassion guide the choices you make while driving. How can I show compassion right now? Maybe, it is by slowing down in a residential area, or letting a car merge in front of you or by forgiving the person who cut you off, forgiving their impatience because maybe you have had similar feelings or made mistakes of your own before. Honor your life and the lives of all those that you are sharing the road with right now.
   
7. Your thoughts may wander. Your attention may become distracted. It's ok. Just keep returning to  the present moment. Return to your breath. Return to your experience of being on the road right now, right here.
   

I will soon be posting an audio recording of this mediation as well. Happy and safe driving to all the driving ninjas out there!

Reset Sunday: Mini Declutter

photo courtesy of Julie at Jane's Apron

Pick one small area that inspires feelings of resistance, confusion, frustration, chaos or being overwhelmed. If you notice that when you go to this space, it takes ridiculously long to find what you need or better yet, you give up looking and decide it's just better to go without, you have a discovered a perfect candidate for this mini declutter practice. It might be a closet, cabinet, book shelf, bathroom counter, your computer desktop, hard drives, the food pantry, spice rack or any space ruled by the Despot of Disorder. After you are done, pay attention to how you feel when interacting with this clean and clear space. Notice the how your state of mind and energy shifts in response.

Here are 5 tips to help you declutter this small space:

1. Gift, recycle, or throw away anything you don't use or is no longer needed. For instance, ancient spices, old food, books you have already read and honestly won't read again, clothes that are ragged or rarely leave the hanger, beauty products that old or never used, etc.
   
2. Lightening-fast decision-making. Don't waste time on the internal debate of whether or not you may need something in the future. Ask youself, do I use this or can I see a realistic use for this in the near future? If the first answer is no, don't think just pass this stuff along to a better home or recycle it.
   
3. Categorize and consolidate. Look for the categories amongst your stuff and put like things together. Be creative about coming up with a system. Think about how you use your things and make a system that is responsive to this. for instance, you may think the most logical way to organize your book is by genre but think about how you read. Maybe you have a section for books you have not read, a section for books that you like to reference and a section for favorite books you like to share with friends. If you have two of something that is very similar or the same, see if you can consolidate them into one or if one of them can be let go.
   
4. Simplify. Consider a system that allows for the greatest simplicity of use and cleaning. Fewer things helps immensely. Also keeping things in open-topped boxes or on trays makes them easier to remove for cleaning and keeps similar things grouped together.
   
5. Map it. After you have organized your things into categories and made a unique, physical space for each category, jot down a little map to remind yourself of the new system. Literally, draw a quick diagram of the space and label what goes where. If you share this space with someone else, give them a copy of the map and go over it with them. This will help you to maintain the newly decluttered zone.

Reset Sunday: Focus and Finish

So picture waking up slowly, your mind blissfully half asleep, when the dreaded wave comes crashing through the calm. This wave is a chatter of obligations, tasks, chores, places to be, people to meet, so many things to do. Ahhh, suddenly waking up seems a lot less appealing. Maybe just one more cuddle in the soft cocoon but there is just not enough time with so much to do. 

When I follow this tide through out the day, I find that I am engulfed in a constant busy-ness. My body tightens up; my breath edges toward non-existent. I have entered, what I like to call, Multi-tasking Madness. I am in a state of perpetual mental and sometimes physical motion. At the end of the day, my nerves are buzzing at a strange and uncomfortable frequency and I can't quite pinpoint what I even spent my time doing most of day. I know I did a million things but how did all those minutes and hours slip away? I feel like I expended a crazy amount of energy but what did I get in return? And was it worth it?

Recently, I have been playing with a practice I dubbed Focus and Finish to provide some respite from the Multi-taking Madness.  I have broken down this practice into steps for you to experiment with over the next week. Try them all together or maybe just pick one. I invite you to write about your experience and revelations in the comments as well. We can all learn from each other.

1. Instead of Waking and Thinking or Doing, Try Waking and Breathing.
   Just take a few deep conscious breaths in the morning. Feel the breath moving through your entire body from your belly to your toes, from your heart to your finger tips, from the bottom of the spine to the crown of your head. Let the breath expand into a big stretch and maybe a nice satisfying yawn. Then, get up.
   
2. Before You Start Working, Focus
   First, clear the slate by simply bringing your attention on the breath. It doesn't have to be a long serious mediation. It can just be 3-5 focused inhales and exhales. This is literally just a short practice session in focus. Ask yourself, "What is the single most important thing I would like to accomplish today?" Don't judge the answer. Just take note of it and bring it to mind throughout the day to see how it is aligning with your actions.
   
3. Notice the Distractions
   Ok, now we laid a relaxed and focused foundation. So let's get to the tricky part. As you are engaged in your "single most important thing," notice when other tasks or distractions are trying to pull you away. It is amazing how frequently this happens! Someone might ask for your help on another project or you might suddenly remember an email you need to send, or wait wasn't I supposed to research hotels for my parent's visit, or don't I need to call so-and-so back or is this other task actually more important...... and yes, this can go on forever. If you follow the endless prompts of these distractions, you are right back in Multi-tasking Madness.
   
4. Return to Your "Single Most Important Thing"
   So how do we deal with all these underminers of focus. First, keep some paper nearby where you can jot down any thing that pops up that you are afraid you will forget if you don't do now. That way it safely written down and you can free the mental energy and time to return to your "single most important thing." Second, if it is a family member, friend, or boss that is asking you to switch gears, take the time to assess the situation. Is what they are asking for truly urgent or can it happen later? Is it more important than your "single most important thing"? If the answer is honestly and completely yes, then it is good to be flexible, responsive and helpful. However if the answer is no, explain that it is important for you to remain focused and that you may be able to help them when you are finished. Sometimes, just repeating the mantra, "finish and focus" in your mind can be enough to get you back where you want to be.
   
5. Feed your Focus
   You want to keep turning away from the distractions and towards your "single most important thing," but if this is a task that requires hours of work, then it is essential to take breaks. And a break is not doing another task. Checking emails doesn't count as a break. That is simply a detour towards Multi-tasking Madness. A break could be a walk, or a little stretching, or some focused breathing, drinking some water, or mindfully eating a snack. If you can't tell if it is a good break activity, ask yourself, "Does this feed my focus or distract from it?"
   
6. Finish
   This part is unbelievably satisfying. You saw your "single most important thing" through to the end. This doesn't mean you finished that novel you have been meaning to write but maybe you finished the first draft of the first chapter and that is something. If you still have time and energy to do something more, go back to step 2 and find the next "single most important thing". Notice how you feel at the end of the day when you have practiced focusing and finishing. I find that even if I am tired, it is good, relaxed tired and often times, I am actually peacefully energized. 

Have fun with this practice. It is not about doing it perfectly, it is about seeing what happens, becoming more aware and noticing the changes that follow.